Parenthood is the most complicated and tough task for parents. Parents are the ultimate role model for children. What you say and do are observed very keenly by your children. Each word you speak has a very strong impact on your little ones. Therefore, it is imperative to think twice before you say anything to your children. There are many phrases that look innocent but can have pejorative effects on a child.
Beansprouts, Gurgaon, keenly follows the principles of respecting everyone’s individuality, be it young or old. Human psychology is very intricate. A simple word or phrase spoken casually can have a lasting impact. Abusive language and harsh words are a strict no in conversation with the child. Let us analyze a few and take some corrective measures.
The parents use words like Don’t, can’t, should’ve to make children feel inclined to follow instructions. They fail to see the negative connotation where the child feels he is not allowed any freedom as if he is doing everything wrong. These phrases/ words sound threatening. These words can be converted to positive words to teach the children in a better way.
Great job done
When we use phrases like good job, way to go, proud of you, practice will make you perfect, we condition the child to look for such reinforcement after every work. It will also put a lot of pressure on the child as he feels responsible for his parent’s reputation.
Even though the children are very young in Beansprouts Montessori School yet we ensure never to use any word that comments on their physical appearance. It’s a matter of their self-esteem; though they are still kids. Objectifying your child by showing their embarrassing photographs to others is the most bizarre thing to do. When it comes to getting kids to eat a healthy diet, the science is clear: Focus on the benefits and delicious taste of healthy food, not on negative perceptions of their weight. Commenting on weight only worries kids and hurts their self-esteem. These kinds of statements will not just hurt your child, but they will even lead to emotional stress, eating disorders, self-consciousness, and more. The kid must love himself and feel confident and proud of himself.
Let me show you
It’s tempting to want to help your child through something difficult, but they need time to learn on their own. Instinctively taking the reins isn’t going to help them learn. We must let them gain confidence and their “hands-on “learning would teach them in a better way.
It’s important to allow children to cry and show their emotions and frustrations. They need to know it is okay to feel happy, sad, angry, or whatever. Besides, we would never tell an adult to stop crying, so why should we say it to children?”
Don’t cry like girls
Weak people cry
The above words and phrases reflect the parents ‘gender bias’. It influences gender roles and promotes stereotyping. It may make a boy feel that suppressing emotions is a sign of strength and it may make a girl feel restricted. Such comments may also make children put each other down,
It’s not that big a deal
Even if something isn’t a big deal to you, it can be a big deal to your child. Telling them that it isn’t invalidated and shaming them for their emotions. Not only are they then upset about the original issue, but they’re ashamed or embarrassed about how upset they are on top of that. These comments never ever help anyone – children or adults.
If you do this I will give you….
We use such words to encourage the children to do better. What we fail to see is the bribe we offer for doing work. We condition our children to always look for some reward to accomplish any task.
This is also used by parents as a threat. Using fear to discipline children is unhealthy and usually backfires. Simply explains why you’d like something done and they’ll be more likely to comply.
There are many such lines as –
I don’t like you
You did well but you can do better
I am disappointed in you
Look at your brother/ friend
Don’t talk to strangers
You are a liar
Many such simple-looking words/ phrases can act as toxic. We’ve all said the wrong thing at times, leaving our kids feeling angry, hurt, or confused. Words can be eternally damaging, especially coming from parents who are supposed to be safe and supportive figures in their child’s lives. “Parents’ support and approval are essential for kids’ well-being,” says Jill Whitney
At Beansprouts, we strive to ensure that your little one grows up in a positive & constructive environment. While parenting, words hold a lot of weight for your children as they act as an guide in shaping a child’s behavior & personality.